wishing

The Queen was above us, looming and presiding over the wedding ceremonies that took place last week in Ontario, Canada on a Friday night. It's been a whirlwind of events since then; actually since before them. I feel as though I have been living in a perpetual whirlwind. No time to think; only time to cry, sleep, and keep going. I have such good people around me; such support. There are many things I intend to change about my life and where I am at now. I have had time to think--about where I've come from, who I was, who I want to be, and what things I want to fill the hours that are given to me in this life. In a dream world, I would work in an environment with an office dog, would allow me to wear hats and t-shirts with words. My environment would have sunlight and a coffee pot. It would feel relaxed and exciting. I would feel creative and I would be allowed to create. More importantly I would feel inspired to create.

Oxymorons come disguised.

My directives have become clear to me and I am to set myself up for creative flow, however small, however large, but it should be noted. Whether food, or self, or arrangements, or actual making of something, the documentation of thing makes it something. If no one sees it, then I will forget. I must make my own memories as I want them to appear.

Blogging is truly strange. I like our world though. 2010. I like it.

Strange ambiguity, misinformed inspiration, and shadowy words...I think I lie, but only to myself.