not a thing of the past

broken and re-created

some things must die in order for others to live.

with each loss is potential for new life.

scenes from the third floor

Some say that it is the third floor, from which the above scenes comes, but I prefer to count the

basement as a floor.

I've been yard saling and garbage picking and so there are a few fun changes in the current living space. Things to note: candy apple red elephant planter, coffee table, and plant growth.

The lamp below is causing me to say, daily, "I love my lamp" which is so close to another similiar slogan of the day that my roommate feels the need to respond with "i love lamp". I have mixed feelings about the babyish plaid but I pinned a felt pin that my great grandmother made to it, so it feels a bit better--and it's nice to be able to see.

deflated and water-laden

Yes, I have a college degree, and, in fact, a Master's degree. I've studied at 5 schools, at 7 universities in numerous cities, but this does not, in any way, imply that I have intelligence.

Last week, I finally received a family heirloom from my mother. I have been longing and longing to own this amazing snakeskin purse that was my grandmother's. Tonight was the big cleaning-of-the-purse night. I began with the small change purse,made of cloth and snakeskin trim; I let it soak in the Oxy Clean water while I gently wiped stains inside the purse.* I took the change purse out of the water, and no apparent change occurred on the cloth but the snakeskin was now bright and vibrant white where it had been cream/brown.

Enter extreme intelligence: I decided that if the change purse was able to withhold the Oxy Clean solution, I could throw the whole purse in the bucket. So i did! What happened still makes me feel sick to my stomach. It was as if the purse was turning back into a snake. Every part of it shrunk, bubbled and turned slimy; it took on a lifeform, and the opening of the purse became the snake's giant mouth. It would not allow me to get it out of the Oxy Clean solution. I began inching back from the sink where I was standing. I am still feeling queasy.

The purse is water-laden; it is oozing stale cigarettes. It has come alive and become useless. My heart is deflated; no family heirloom nor an adorable new purse (not even a stinky, dirty one--which I would give anything for right now.) Sometimes I want to turn back time: I want that purse.

*Whenever I begin to clean inheritances from my grandmother, a powerful odor begins to emit from the object. The stench of 21,360 cigarette packages. (One pack per day for 60 years.) Combining my love for old things and my desire to clean them, I smell each cigarette.

* the above image is NOT the actual purse; mine was much, much, much classier.

sent

so i bought a purse for 20 dollars the week after i got back from philly because i found all these wicked deals. and getting excited for the upcoming events i decided to stash it in my closet and save it. well, as you know, i'm a bag-switcher. i like to change it up. but i've definitely weeded down/out...and taken so much stuff to thrifties. so anyway, i switched bags to my 'afterimage' tote for today from my awesome london-steal, leather delight. but the tote wasn't feeling right for tomorrow. so i rummaged through, and none were doing it. then i found this old brown thing i got in a thrift store in nyc a few years back, which i always like and then always don't like because of it's deceiving largeness which is in fact, a total lie, because as soon as you put anything in it, it becomes this giant thing...and it's just bulky. so my new purse...i pulled it out and it's quite small--like a slightly classier/leather version of the red bag from brittany. so the new one is red leather. it does have a somewhat ugly (read: your weird brown shoes that were cute but sort of soccer-mom-ish, 40 year old with lime green v-necks) feel to it because it has a braided handle and a weirdly-too-shiny silver buckle thing, which is just wacked. but....i'm using it for tomorrow. it's really dumb, but tomorrow we are going to joey's play and we are signing our lease. so for some reason i want it to be memorable with a new purse. and i also recently (two days ago) finished the journal that i made for europe...and the next journal, which somehow surpassed the one that should be it's replacement (the design conference book i bought in nyc) but for some reason i'm not feeling that one yet either...so the next journal (i know, you'll be so appalled) is your test "i have a dollar" book that is blank, grey and you know, not so well put together. but i've added a silly rub-on image of an elephant with tusks in a funny blue-green color to the lower right corner, and in fact, it's backwards from how the actual book went together, therefore the baggie is at the back and the little pocket is upside down. so really, it's basically a photograph--upside down and backwards. (i do love to say that: "upside down and backwards"), which in fact is appropriate because in my class we will be learning about the origins of photography...which really, when i am reminded of it are so completely fascinating.

*the image is a result of searching "red purse drawing" in google*